Meet our first MoMa2MoMa, Ali Montefusco! Beautiful soul, female entrepreneur, and mother to Joey, you‘ll quickly fall in love with her like we have! So happy to have you on our MoMa2MoMa Team!
Being the daughter of a MLB player, I moved around a lot. It was because of this that I fell in love with interior design and Real Estate. I’ve been in real estate for over 14 years now and have climbed the ladder from assistant positions to major director positions and even to selling multi million dollar homes. Honestly speaking, I always felt like something was still missing. Then Joseph was born and I became a mother. Being a mom gave me a whole new outlook to being a Real Estate Advisor. I look at my career in a totally different light. I’m not selling real estate, I am selling a home to a family. As hard as these past few weeks of new motherhood have been, I feel more complete than I ever have in my entire life. Life makes sense when I’m with my son. I’ll always love real estate and I’ll always be proud of my accomplishments but these days my favorite title is Mom and my son is my greatest accomplishment.
It’s been nine weeks since I gave birth to my first child. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions, to say the least. The days and nights have blurred together and seem like a never ending cycle of diaper changes and feedings with very little sleep and virtually no time for myself. Everyone warned me about the sleep deprivation but no one told me about the battle I’d face with myself.
The first time I actually looked at my body after I gave birth was probably 2 weeks postpartum. Shock and devastation are the first two thoughts that come to mind. I have always been very into fitness and health and even kept up with it throughout my pregnancy. My stomach now had this pillow like feel to it that wrapped around my core like a fanny pack. My once perky breasts looked like something out of a National Geographic magazine. My runners legs now resembled tree trunks with unfamiliar lumps and bumps. This was not the body I knew. This wasn’t me. I remember crying and feeling so incredibly insecure. Here I was, unrecognizable to myself and yet it was all for this 9lb stranger who didn’t want to cuddle with me, never made eye contact with me and couldn’t talk to me. That was another part of this new mother struggle. No one tells you that sometimes you don’t feel an instant connection with your newborn. No one tells you just how lonely early motherhood can be. You’re a prisoner inside a body you don’t recognize and a slave to a complete stranger whose life depends on you. It’s exhausting and terrifying and sometimes even depressing.
Around 4 weeks, I started getting use to the sleep deprivation and I started getting the hang of a life that revolved completely around this tiny dictator. And then it happened...I remember the moment perfectly, the moment that changed everything. I was sitting in my mommy chair breastfeeding. It was around 4am, my dogs and my fiancé were sound asleep in the other room. My son pulled off my breast and I went to wipe his face and something incredible happened. He smiled at me. He looked directly in my eyes and smiled this big toothless grin. It was overwhelming. I instantly fell madly in love with this little person and simultaneously began sobbing.
The first few weeks of motherhood you can easily lose yourself. You can get lost in the disgust of your body. You can get lost in the never ending routine of changing dirty diapers and spit up. But when a moment like this happens, the first smile of your child, it all makes sense. You created life. Your saggy belly grew a human being. Your engorged breasts feed a human being. You are a super hero. Once you realize that, that is when the acceptance begins. I am not disgusting. I may not ever get the body back that I had prior to carrying my son, and that’s ok. In all honesty, I don’t even want it because I’m not that girl anymore. I am a mother now and I am embracing my new curves. The weight will eventually come off as long as I am kind to my body and patient. So for now, I’ll eat right, pull out my yoga mat when I can and enjoy these precious moments with my son, who I am absolutely head over heels for.