F**K FEAR



You'll very often hear me preach about moving forward fearlessly, to not even think about it...just do it, to listen to the Universe and follow your intuition. This does NOT mean that I'm some sort of Unicorn living fearlessly and effortlessly through this life and making shit happen without a negative thought crossing my mind. It means that I go through the emotions of fear and self-doubt, I move through them, and tell them to FUCK OFF. Sometimes it takes only seconds, sometimes hours, to come back to center and re-align with the Universe (G*d, Source, The Highest Power).


I'm sitting in front of the computer, one leg up on the table and a glass of wine in hand because I am now more aware, more flexible, and in need of some sort of reward for what I just put my body, mind, and soul through. I took a yoga class for the very first time in 31 years- lead by Jenna G.- our Mega-Manifestor of the Month.


Trust me when I say I've gotten every invite, every guilt trip, every email to come and take a class at Buddha Shack in Coconut Grove. I've heard about this place YEARS before it even opened it's doors (that's manifesting). But FEAR always got the best of me. Doing those crazy poses, sitting in silence, not being able to WOOOOOO my way through a workout...was all unfathomable to me. But sign after sign, intuitive person after intuitive person, told me that I needed MORE meditation in my life and LESS noise. I sit in my car every morning and meditate on the way to work (I may drop a few F bombs on our wonderful Florida drivers) and then again at night before I fall asleep...but even I knew I needed more. And with Jenna being so happy to help me start my business, I felt it was the right time to downward dog.


AND HOLY FKING SHIZZ did she kick my ass! She opened with what I thought a yoga class would be- focusing on breath, finding your center, setting intentions, and giving thanks to the Universe "for even the smallest gifts". I started to tear up. I am so genuinely thankful for where Source has lead me- this site and everything that has come for me so far has really been SUCH A BLESSING that thinking about it all lead me to tears of gratitude. But then something very different happened. I started sweating profusely- "high plank, side plank, lunge, jump, squat," and all these crazy terms for yoga poses that I didn't understand came with force! People around me basically leavitating as I looked at Jenna confused...I mean, this was a completely humbling experience! I TEACH fitness for a living, yet I sat there in awe of these other women killing their workout as I sat there and tried to figure out how they could maintain composure as the lifted their legs off the floor- I honestly wanted to clap for these women! Don't get me wrong; I followed direction most of the time (I credit Jenna's ability to accurately explain movement- damn she's an incredible teacher) but I didn't know my body could move in the ways she was asking me!


I also came to the realization that not only did I need more meditation, more stretch, more Jenna...but I also needed more body awareness. How did I let YEARS of teaching fitness go past me and never realize how badly I needed to take care of my body?! Jenna put her hands on my tight muscles and opened them in ways I didn't know were even in need!


So we're planking, we're doing these moves that I couldn't fathom how to hold, and then we finish the same way we started- with a heart filled with gratitude, good intentions, and the motivation to change the world. I get it now YOGIS- what you practice is an art, a beautiful one, and I've promised myself to do more of it. But I also now understand the City of Miami on a whole new level- I always loved, adored, lived in awe of Jenna G. on a personal level- but now I understood why the entire city lives for her too.




© 2017 by The Mother Manifestor

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